I GOT THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE POSTS, BUT A JOB AIN'T ONE.

5th August 2011

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I GOT THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE POSTS, BUT A JOB AIN’T ONE.

And that’s it. That’s a year. August 5, 2010 I started blogging in earnest here on Tumblr. Once a day, at least three hundred words a day. Three hundred words a day ain’t a lot. I don’t think so. When I missed a day, I would write two for the next day to make up for it. Just wanted to see if I could do it. And looks I did it. “You gonna turn all that into a book?” a friend asked me. “No,” I immediately said. “No. I’m not.” There’s no plot, no through-line. Other than all of them being written by me, the posts largely don’t have much in common. As I look back on the thee hundred and sixty-five posts from the past year, I do notice this: my acting career took a hit. Maybe if I had fucked around a little less with my stupid blog, I would’ve booked some new acting work. With the exception of a small part in a friend’s low-budget movie I shot in Detroit near Christmas time, I didn’t book one new job. In the year I’ve been doing this blog, I earned money from old ones, but booked no new ones (other than that Detroit one). And why is this the first time I’ve thought about that? Why is this the first time I’m drawing a correlation between the two? Do I really think that the devotion to this “Remain Champagne” Tumblr blog had nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t booked a commercial in a year? Do I really think that it’s just a coincidence that while I insisted on posting at least three hundred words a day for a year I was also not getting hired to do the thing I’ve been doing to support myself for over fifteen years now? How could I not see that? I got three hundred and sixty-five posts, but a job ain’t one.

So, no more of this blogging every day thing. And my posts haven’t even been showing up in my Tumblr dashboard lately anyway. I’ll click “Create Post” and the blog will appear on my own private page, but sometimes will take an entire day to appear on the public dashboard. I knew it was time to stop when I found myself in earnest email correspondence with Tumblr tech support to address this problem. I was like: “Am I really having a back and forth with the nice people of Tumblr tech support because my precious blog posts aren’t appearing with the speed I’ve come to expect?” I should be having backs and forths like this with my agents, not Tumble tech support.

So, no more of this every day stuff. I’ve gotta live and survive and no one’s gonna help me do that. As I look back on the first post from a year ago, August 5, 2010, it was about how I don’t get as much sleep as I want. It was called “A Good Eight.” And I just re-read it and nothing has changed. In the year since writing it, I’ve tried Ambien and Melatonin to see if anything got different and things got different enough for me to never wanna try that shit again.

It was a cool little discipline, but I need to focus on my livelihood. Most of my creative energy is gonna go towards writing for stand-up and staying an actor. I guess if you wanna experience my writing more often, you’ll have to come out and see me do comedy shows around L.A. instead of reading my stuff in your undies. And thanks for reading it at all, if you have been reading it at all. And if you have been reading it in your undies, do put some clothes on. And if you do come out to see me do a show, wear more than just your undies.

(Fellow Tumblr-ites: If the pattern of the last few days stays its course, this blog won’t appear on your dashboard for about twenty-four hours.)

(Also: To find an appropriate picture for today’s post, I Googled “Pictures Of One Year.” I saw a bunch of birthday candles and commemorative, glittering icons shining forth. But mixed in with these bright, celebratory images that signify an entire year of accomplishment, was this shot:

Yup.

I remain

Champagne