Remain Champagne

31st July 2011

Post with 2 notes

I WILL NOT TAKE THE RISK™.

I play RISK™.  On-line.  I play with other people.  It’s sad.

I don’t work.  My savings account is dwindling to an alarming level.  I haven’t booked a commercial in almost a year.  I should not be playing this shitty, life-sucking game anymore.  Here’s what I think: “If I just hole up inside and play RISK™ I won’t be outside spending money.”  That kinda seems like a good idea, doesn’t it?  But the playing of that game, and watching the time tick away as the game inexorably progresses (and I can feel it tick away) is one of the most deadening, dust-making sensations I’ve ever felt.  I’ve been operating under this rule (one I’ve been pretty good at following) that I’ll only play RISK™ on the week-end so I won’t feel like a total loser.  But here it is the week-end and I’ve just spent hours playing it and I feel like a total piece of shit right now.

I hereby resolve to not play this horrible game for an entire year.

By the way: This is a game I’m not even that good at.  I lose most of the time.  One of the reasons I stopped playing poker was because even though I enjoy playing it, I was never good at it.  The whole point of poker is to figure out what the other guy has.  How can I possibly be bothered to figure out what you have?  I don’t know even know what I have.  And I can see my cards.  That’s how bad I was and still am at poker.  Math?  Statistics?  All the things you should be fairly adept at when you’re playing poker?  I’m not good at.  Really not good at.  So I stopped playing.  Part of it was because I also started doing stand-up and poker was interfering with my comedy habit, a habit to which I honestly need to re-addict myself.  I’ll play with friends maybe twice a year because they’re great fun and everything and I’m fully prepared to lose whatever I’m gonna lose, but I don’t play nearly as much as I used to.

And as far as on-line RISK™ goes?  No more of that shit for a year.  A year.  And if my career has gotten even worse by then, I’ll continue to not play it.  Let this blog act as a declaration/mission statement.  I mean it.  American-style.

But if you guys ever wanna play the board game version of RISK™, lemme know.  I’m so down.

(Both my agent and manager are my friends on Facebook.)



I remain

Champagne