Remain Champagne

22nd July 2011

Post with 2 notes

THE CHURCH OF EITHER GOD OR CHRIST

I overheard someone talking about their church and they said something about “The Church of God in Christ.”  But I misheard them and thought they said “The Church of God and Christ.”  And I almost piped up.  I was like: “Wait a minute.  God and Christ?  They’re the same thing, right?  That’s, like, their thing, yeah?  So what’s this ‘and’ stuff?  Is Christ moving out and getting his own place?”  If so, I’d like to hear God’s take on this: 

“Well, let’s just say the boy has been more and more distant.”

A title like “The Church Of God And Christ” suggests that Christ is starting to take the first few baby steps toward secession.  Pretty soon, that company (yeah, I just called that church a company) is going to have huge problems picking the right name.  When Christ disconnects from God to make two separate entities, things will continue to break apart and subdivide.  Before you know it, the name of that church will sound like a law firm.  “The Church of God & Christ & McMillan & Fears & You Might Wanna Go Somewhere Else, Esquire.”

And if Christ is separating from God, then it’s only a matter of time before he gets his own church.  Right now it’s “The Church of God and Christ,” but it won’t be long before it’ll be “The Church of Christ” on one side of the street and “The Church of God” on the other, rival churches duking it out.  Father and son: once a team, now bitter adversaries.  Customers (yeah, I just called them customers) will have to choose between the two and that ain’t gonna be pretty.

But how do we know it wasn’t God that wanted out?  Maybe God needed a little break from Christ.  I can just hear him: “Christ, I need a break.”  And then Christ is all: “Well, then take a break, Dad.”  And God’s all: “No.  From you.  I need a break from you, kid.”  (Should I have capitalized the K there?)

But all those customers bickering over which church—God’s or Christ’s—to go to?  Know this: In the midst of all their arguing, fighting, and brawling, they will never look more religious.


I remain

Champagne