Remain Champagne

10th July 2012

Post with 1 note

UN-UN-BREAK THE PATTERN OF HEARING “UN-BREAK MY HEART” IN LAUNDROMATS.

Every time I wash my clothes in this one laundromat I go to, I always hear “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton.  In fact, it’s more accurate to say that in this one laundromat I go to, they refuse to not play “Un-Break My Heart.”  As if the owners of the laundromat and whichever radio station responsible were in cahoots.  If I wanted to actually un-break my heart, a laundromat would be the last place I’d go.  My heart wasn’t even broken when I went in there.  In fact, the only thing breaking my heart is having to listen to “Un-Break My Heart” in a laundromat!  It’s un-un breaking my heart.  Drying my clothes to that song doesn’t remind me of something sad.  It reminds me that I don’t really have anything to be sad about.  Not really.  Nothing as sad as whatever she’s so sad about in that very laundromat-inappropriate song.  Every time I go to this laundromat, it’s to do two things: wash my clothes, and see if I can—just once—finish washing my clothes without having to listen to that song.  I want to un-un-break this streak.  You try staring at your clothes spinning clockwise at six hundred RPM while listening to the lyric: “Bring back the joy to my heart.”  That’s a weird combo.  You know, there was one day where I almost made it.  I almost got through the entire washing and drying sequence of everything I had without hearing Ms. Braxton’s 1996 hit.  I endured “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac.  I endured “Constant Craving” by k.d. lang.  I endured “Faithfully” by Journey.  I endured “Save The Best For Last,” “You’ll Be In My Heart,” and “Fields Of Gold” by the people who do those songs.  But I had not yet heard the opening strains of “Un-Break My Heart” and thought I’d made it!  I was wheeling all my clothes out the door, in victory, when…it happened!  That flamenco-sounding guitar, those perfectly on-the-beat finger snaps, that wordless moaning at the top.  “Oh, you got me again, laundromat!  You and Braxton can suck it!”  The next time I hear that song while I’m there, I’m getting in the dryer.  Please close the door behind me.


I remain

Champagne